Love Is Holistic

The second part of nurturing holistically is how to love holistically.  Here are some specific requests or things we could do that in my opinion would help us nurture each other and ourselves holistically.

We need to start by seeing mind, body, spirit and soul as one entity.  We need to understand that when one suffers, they all suffer.  When one is nurtured they all are nurtured.  We need to make sure our decisions reflect that.  When eating food, we need to not only ask how is this going to effect me nutritionally, but also how is it going to effect me emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically?  The same goes for the intake of the mind.  Be it our own education or watching TV, we must ask how is this going to effect my body, spirit, and soul?  When  buying consumer goods we must ask ourselves what is the real cost of that product to ourselves, the people that made it, and the environment.  Any action we take we must ask ourselves how is this going to effect the habitat in which we live, the habitat of others, and the habitat of future generations.  Whether soaring in the heights of the spiritual or delving into the depths of the soul they both affect the mind and body.  Make sure to keep them equal in worth and free from compartmentalization.

The next request would be to start viewing justice as making sure that all environments are primed for meeting the needs of all who live on this earth.  It is commonly thought that justice is about right or wrong and handing out punishment to those we think deserve it.  Some even think that it is about vindication.  In contrast, justice is about fairness and protecting life.  How do we do this?

First we start by voluntarily sharing our resources.  From time to money to knowledge to possessions to talent to whatever resources you have, start sharing them freely with others.  No strings attached.  Remember that it is all voluntary.  It can never be forced upon others or ourselves.  A couple great examples of this today are cooperatives and the Linux community.  All around the world people are growing and sharing their own food.  Cooperatives are building a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood and the compassion to help each other.  The Linux community strives to provide free software and operating systems to everyone.  All software is open to programming changes.  These two examples are the kind of voluntarily sharing of resources I would like to see in all aspects of our lives.  A fuller manifestation of this point is for us to imagine a future where a gardener gets up to tend to all the gardens and lawns in the community.  She is not paid.  She does it for the shear fulfillment it gives her.  Her needs are well taken care of by others that voluntarily share their resources and strengths, be it a techie the makes laptops, or a baker that bakes bread, or carpenter that builds her a house, a seamstress that makes her clothes and so on and so forth.  It seems like utopia, but it is completely doable.

Second, we need to start cooperating with each other.  It has been said that God helps those that help themselves, thus creating the mindset of competition.  It is my belief that God helps us when we help each other.  We need to change our outlook of only helping ourselves to get ahead and realize the only way to get ahead is to help others.  The measure of any  individual, society, or the world is how well we take care of the less fortunate.  This is a different message than the message of domination.  Those in power will not take to kindly to it.  They will try to play the fear card to keep their power intact.  They might even use force to impose their will.  Just realize this, resist non-violently, and continue to spread the message of cooperation.  As the late Howard Zinn said, “…their power depends on the obedience of the people below them…”  If we stop obeying, then they loose their power.

Last, we need a sense of enough.  This one is two-fold.  First is the mindset that there is enough.  This world is abundant and there is enough for all to share.  Period.  No one should have to go without having enough.  It is up to us that have more than enough to share with those that don’t have enough. 12 percent of the world’s population uses 60 percent of the world’s resources. This inequality needs to end.  Everyone can have enough, as Biblical scholar, Marcus Borg puts it, “…not as the result of charity but as the product of justice.”  We need to make charity less necessary by have a just system in place.  We can still have the rich and the not so rich, but still everyone will have enough. Second, is the mindset that one has enough.  There is only so much a person needs.  Even the wants and comforts of life have a point of enough.  Whether or not we want to admit it, we all reach a threshold where what we consume no longer gives us fulfillment and/or happiness.  Pretty soon we are wasting precious time and life energy, “…store, insure, fix, forget about and ultimately sell in a garage sale.” It is better for us to do the work of introspection in order to figure out what activities and consumption fulfills us.  Focus only on that which makes you “truly” content and do away with all the excess baggage that is bogging you down.  Set a goal of what is enough and work to obtain it.  Vicki Robin, who co-authored the book, You Money or Your Life and who has been a major influence for me on this idea of having enough has this pledge:

I pledge to discover how much is enough for me

to be truly fulfilled, and to consume only that.

I also pledge to be part of the discovery

of how much would be enough for everyone

not only to survive but to thrive, and

to find ways for them to have access to that.

Through this commitment to restraint

and justice, I am healing my life

and am part of the healing of the world.

When we work on having enough, cooperating, and voluntarily sharing resources justice will prevail.

Another request I want to make is to place more emphasis on education and less emphasis on making laws.  Let’s take the example of the very controversial topic of abortion.  There are many that would like to see abortion become illegal and are fighting to have a law to make it illegal.  Making it illegal will not stop people from having abortions.  All it will teach them is not to get caught.

The reality is that it’s the same with most of today’s laws.  We all break some laws and work hard to avoid not being caught.  There is a huge disconnect between the law and the reason why we should follow it.  Many people don’t follow the speed limit because society focuses more on enforcing the speed limit than educating why the set speed limit keeps us safe.

In the case of abortions, instead of working on making it illegal, I would like to see us educate people about responsible sexual practices.  We need to make abortion less needed through teaching contraceptive use, thinking ahead, and how to survive having an unexpected baby.  Education is the key because it shows that we care and that we are thinking about all possibilities.  Passing laws is so impersonal.  Education is not only a key for fewer abortions but it is the key for all we would like people to do.  Think of how Prohibition did more to harm responsible drinking and its effects are still felt today.  In contrast, Germans teach their children about responsible drinking and have very little problems with excess drinking.  Make education a priority and cut back on making laws.

The last request I would make is that we make passion a part of our lives again.  Specifically passion for a vocation and passion for each other.

Steve Irwin and Steve Wozniak have been heroes of mine for the simple reason that they were passionate about what they did.  The late Steve Irwin, also known as the Crocodile Hunter, could be seen on TV practically jumping out at you with a love and passion for educating the viewers about wildlife.  Steve Wozniak spent countless hours drawing computers that were never physically made for the soul purpose finding ways of using less and less parts.  Eventually he came up with what would be the Apple I.

Where are the Steve Irwins (the gifted naturalists) and Steve Wozniaks (the technology geniuses) of the world?  I will tell you.  They are waiting to be reborn out of the meaningless and passionless jobs that they do just for a paycheck.  The concept of having a passion is such a foreign idea to people that we call it daydreaming.  If you were to ask someone what their passion is or what would they do besides their job, they probably would not have an answer.  They have become institutionalized, just like in the movie Shawshank Redemption.  They are fearful of what doesn’t make sense to them.  They are afraid to hope that their passions could pay off.  To them it is just easier to stay institutionalized than to hope for a better life outside the prison walls they have made for themselves.  However, just like Red had to do in the movie, we have to choose to either “Get busy living or get busy dying.”

When was the last time we got up excited and raring to go, no matter how hard the work was?  I don’t believe in the phrase, “It’s not supposed to be fun, that’s why they call it work.”  That to me is a lie.  Joseph Campbell said that all religions have one common theme.  That is do nothing that is not play.  When we are doing something we are passionate about it is always fun no matter how hard the work is.  But we can’t be passionate about just anything.  What we are passionate about needs to meet our needs and utilize our strengths.  Steve Irwin probably could not have invented the Apple I, the world’s first personal computer.  He may have had the desire, but not the natural talent involved.  Likewise, Steve Wozniak probably could not have brought Steve Irwin’s vast amount of wildlife awareness to the world.  We simply cannot be passionate about just anything.  Some can be passionate about working in a factory for the rest of their lives.  However, some working in a factory are not passionate about their work and would be better suited elsewhere.  We need to find our passions and work hard find to a way to pursue them full time no matter how long it takes.  Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  It took the main character in Shawshank Redemption nineteen years to break free from prison.  Once we do, we will find more zest to live for ourselves and with more time and energy for another passion that has been long subdued.  The passion I am referring to may surprise you.

That passion is sex.  Not just the act of sex, but the sensual aspect of it too.  For a good example, we need only to look at the Bible.  The Songs of Solomon is a passionate love story, steaming with sensuality.  When was the last time we heard it read like one?  It is a good example of how sex has been subdued.  The religious community has turned it into being a metaphor for God’s love for us.  Unless we believe that we ourselves are gods, then that metaphor just doesn’t work for me.  I guess it works if we change our view of God from the big guy upstairs to God being everything that is, including ourselves.  It’s actually the way I would like us to view God.  However, I do think that the author intended it to be a sensual love story between two lovers.  For some reason the religious community can’t handle that.  Sex and the sensual to them is so animalistic and God forbid we are viewed for what we really are.  Remember, mind, body, soul, and spirit are one.  One is not greater than the other, therefore sex is not confined to or just a function of the body.  I would like to see it find its way into every aspect of our lives.  Mind, body, spirit, and soul.  I would like to see it celebrated in our art, music, worship, and way of living.  I would like to see it be a real expression, unlike pornography, which is staged.  It is empty and it leaves all who partake in it empty.

As Thomas Moore says in his article, The Temple of the Body, “[pornography] focuses on organs and acts.”  It is void of any human contact or, “…there is no love, little sentimentality, and almost nothing that could be called foreplay in any innocent sense of the word.”  In other words there is no work involved.  It is instant gratification.  Anything that is wonderful in this world requires work or foreplay.  However, Moore also says:

Every time we think of sex as biological, every time we teach sex education as a secular study, we are setting ourselves up for more pornography, and, strangely, for all its stupidity, lack of taste, and outrageousness, as a symptom pornography both reveals and distorts the imagination in sex.  Pornography is full of problems, but mercifully it keeps sex from becoming the heartless preserve of the medical establishment and the social scientist.

I would add that as long as the religious community plays down the role of sex in our lives, pornography will flourish.  We cannot scandalize sex any longer.  We can no longer keep it separate from our every day being.  We need to give ourselves permission to express sex and the sensual in real ways.

Here are some suggestions (with help from Thomas Moore’s article).

Spice up the architecture, infrastructure, and the décor or aesthetics of the spaces we live in.  Focus less on function, efficiency, and cost.  Instead focus more on what appeals to the senses, like form and foreplay.  There is a reason why we associate an iris is with the shape of a vagina  and why we won’t find in nature a domicile that has four corners.  If we have not noticed these things in nature maybe it is time that we step out of the sterile concrete world and on to a nice meandering path.  Visit a decadent bakery or make sensuous meals at home.  Give yourself the liberty to be unproductive every once in a while.  Idleness has been called the devil’s playground only because we have allowed sex to be associated with devilishness.  Of course, maybe we need a healthy dose of devilish behavior in our lives.  According to Moore, we need to give more time and attention to “pleasure, desire, intimacy, and sensuality, and give these very qualities a place in all aspects of daily life.”  We can do this not just with our lovers, but also with family, friends, co-workers, and our communities.  As long as we value the life and innocence’s of each other, what is the worst that can happen?  Go ahead and risk living sensually, sexually, and passionately.

One last thing, Madison Avenue knows we are starved for sex and love so they use that to sell us empty substitutes and distractions, keeping us in a passionless cycle of always wanting.  Be attentive to all that distracts us from our passions and focus only on those things that fulfill our passions.

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Love Is Being and Seeing Our True Selves

The fourth part of love is seeing and being our true self.  I say true self because we seem to be in love with comparing.  We are either comparing ourselves to others wishing we were not ourselves or we are comparing others to others, wishing they were not themselves.  The thing about comparing is that we are always comparing what we don’t know about others with what we do know about ourselves.  The same could be said about comparing others to others.  It is unfair to the self.  I believe that each one of us has been given a unique true self that is beautiful in its own way.  Much harm is done to this true self when we try to suppress, change, or stay unaware of it in others and ourselves.  The essence of sin, to paraphrase Paul Tillich, is the alienation of the self from the self.

Fred Rogers said, “What matters most is what children feel about their uniqueness once they do begin to realize they are different from everyone else. How each one of us comes to feel about our individual uniqueness has a strong influence on how we feel about everyone’s uniqueness–whether we grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world’s people or into adults who fear and resent that diversity.”

When we try to change from who we really are we become divided, and often end up very frustrated when things do not turn out as we planned.  The same is true when we impose a different self on others.  We often view them as defiant when they do not act the way we want them to.  We are either not accepting who we or others really are.  We do it because we think it’s the only way to be loved and accepted by others.  People stuck on the self-love side are the ones that want others to change.  People stuck on the other-love side of the spectrum want to change themselves.  This is done to make sure that no one will inconvenience them or make them accept differences.  To see people for whom they really are means that we have to work through any incompatibilities or choose to ditch them altogether.  This reminds me of a story that M. Scott Peck shared in his first book, The Road Less Traveled.  This story also works as an example of love being humble.

Peck shares how he was leading a couple’s group therapy session.  He was shocked to hear one of the husbands proclaim that the “purpose and function” of his wife was to be, in essence, the 1950’s housewife.  This struck Peck as very sexist and he wanted to know what the other members thought.  Maybe their answers would show the husband how unreasonable he was being.  One by one they each described their spouses as the holders of their happiness and well being.  None of them saw their spouse as an individual with a purpose of their own.  They were basically expecting their spouse to  be an extension of their ego or purpose.

Peck told them he knew why they were all having marital problems.  He warned them that as long as they all viewed their spouses in this way they would continue to have marital problems.  Being quite confused and needing a little guidance, the group asked Peck to define the function and purpose of his wife.  He stated, “The purpose and function of Lily is to grow to be the most of which she is capable, not for my benefit but for her own and to the glory of God.”

You see, we need to let people be who they truly are.  We need to humbly encourage them to be who they need to be.  At the same time we need to become who we truly are or the same unhappiness will follow us.  A good example of this is my own story, during high school and the first two years of college.  I was always being someone else in hopes of being liked.  I was a wrestler, a country farm boy, conservative Christian, arrogantly virtuous, extroverted, and I tried to emulate the other aspects of my friends’ personalities that I thought was cool.  None of it worked for me.  I either failed or ended up very frustrated.  Most of the time I was an emotional roller coaster.  It was not until I started to discover who I really was and began to be content with myself that I became truly free.  Free from expectations, frustrations, and depression.  It was all self-imposed because I was trying too hard not to be myself.  As the chorus goes to a song by the band Audioslave, “To be yourself is all that you can do.”  How do we know if a trait or action is from our true self?  If the fruits of its labor is love then it is our true self.  If our actions are done out of fear then that is not our true self.  This includes actions afflicted on others or ourselves.  Actions done out of love come from the true self.  The true self will not be fulfilled with anything but the truth.  It’s the truth that will set you free.

As I have said before I had to discover my true self.  Being our true self starts with knowing ourselves.  I already mentioned a helpful tool to discover our talents with the book Now Discover Your Strengths.  Here are a few more things to consider in our journey to help you discover your true self.  I am going to state these as opposites, not that one is better than the other, but because a person is not usually both.  However, there are always exceptions.

Male or female? (It is not always as obvious as one might think.)

Heterosexual or homosexual?

Introvert or extrovert?

Laid back or constantly on the go?

Organized or unorganized?

Literal thinker or abstract thinker?

Auditory learner or visual learner?

Type A personality or type B personality?

I could go on with more examples but you get the picture.  Many people have made it their life work to delve into what makes us unique.  Dr. Mel Levine has dedicated his work to showing us how we all learn differently.  Dr. Howard Gardner has written about the multiple intelligences found in all individuals.  Psychotherapist, Dr. Marti Laney, has taught about the differences between introverts and extroverts and how one is not better than the other.  These are just a few examples of the large number of professors, doctors, psychologist, and researchers that are trying to understand why we act the way we do.

Another thing to consider in your journey is ethnicity and where you were born.  Both play a huge role in how one interprets and interacts with the world.  Just look at the history textbooks of the many different countries and you will see that major events in history are portrayed with different interpretations.

There is so much that can be discovered about our true self.  We are unique and only we can be ourselves.  All it takes is the courage to be our true self and not whom we wish we were or who others think we should be.  This journey of self-discovery, once started is a life long process.

The other thing about all this self-discovery is that it can help us humbly observe others.  As long as we never assume we know for sure the aspects of that person’s true self, then we can use our knowledge to humbly find ways to nurture their true selves.  We can ask the same questions about others and humbly proceed from there.  After a while we get a pretty good grasp on their true selves and what they need to be nurtured.  Do not forget that the reason you are doing all this self-discovery is to also know how to humbly nurture your own true self.  However, we need to have a balance between nurturing our own true selves and nurturing the true selves of others.  That brings us to our fifth and last part of love.

Love Is For Both Other And Ourselves

The fifth and last part of love brings us full circle to what we read in the beginning of this book.  That is all this work of love is at the same time for both others and ourselves.  By loving others we are loving ourselves and by loving ourselves we are loving others.  These two actions are not mutually exclusive.  They depend upon each other for healthy loving relationships to exist.  Whether or not humans will remain humane depends upon keeping self-love and other-love balanced.

It has been said that we are only as strong as our weakest link.  In this day and age of competition the weakest link is usually done away with.  The only people that we give worth to are the strongest, the richest, the trickiest, and/or the most rugged individual.  We seem to be fixated with the individual achievements of individuals.  We often glorify those who can say look what I did by or for myself.  Those that do not need the help of others are usually the last ones to give help.  However, if all we do is alienate the weak, eventually we will alienate everyone in our lives.  As Roger Waters put it when he sang about a backstabbing business man, we will become, “…just another sad old man, all alone and dying of cancer.”

We seem to have become a society full of self serving apathetic people.  We are apathetic to everything, be it people, ideas, or anything in nature that does not serve us.  The alternative to this problem is a revolution.  However the kind of revolution I speak of is not violent.  Violence only begets violence, or in other words those who live by the sword will die by the sword.  It can not be a revolution with beliefs based on fear.  We must do away with the extremes of conspiracy theories, end of the world religions, and the anti-Christ.  The anti-Christ, if anything, is not a person or a group that conspiracy theories talk about.  In contrast, the anti-Christ is this collective spirit of self-serving apathy we find in society today.  On the flip side, the revolution also doesn’t come by people excluding themselves from society through new age transcendent escapism or prosperity spirituality.  Transcendence is helpful if it enlightens us to engage the world with love.  However, viewing this world as stepping stone to something better beyond this world or to viewing this world as our own personal genie violates the teachings I am trying to present here.

The revolution and solution to apathy that I would like to see is us loving one another.  Like I said earlier, love is a gift with no strings attached and it is best enjoyed by sharing it freely and wastefully.  We are all different and we are all not going to see eye to eye on everything.  Whether large or small we still can live together with our differences.  All we have to do is do the work of love.  But just remember that we ourselves are a part of this equation as well.  If we see life as a gift, then that means we ourselves are gifts as well.  The self also is worth loving.

It cannot be self-love alone, but it also cannot be other-love alone.  They need to be done with balance at the same time.  I do not advocate concentrating on self-love first and other-love second.  They can both be nurtured at the same time.  Nurturing others nurtures your true self and nurturing your true self nurtures others.  As long as one does not overtake the other then there are ways to nurture both at the same time.

Here are some examples of how to nurture ourselves, and therefore others.

1.  Be the best possible version of you.  Others will surely benefit from this.

2.  Take care of your bodies and do it with those you love.

3.  Have fun and laugh with others, especially over a meal.

4.  Be passionate and creative.

5.  Be cooperative and empathetic.

These things have all been explained earlier, but it is worth restating them to show that we can nurture ourselves while nurturing others.  Most sacred texts mentions some command to love everyone and that command includes loving ourselves.  Think of the universal Golden Rule, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.”  Karen Armstrong used the Golden Rule to devise a Charter for Compassion which states:

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect.

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women ~ to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

If we want to receive love we need to give love.  At the same time we also need to be willing to accept love and not just give love.  We need to be able to empathize with how wonderful it is to receive love, to have our fears turned into nurturing.  We need to take to heart when Parker Palmer defines violence as, “…whenever you violate the integrity of the other.”  We need to see how we are all interconnected in one way or another.  To summarize what theoretical physicist, Fritjof Capra, says in his book, Web of Life, we are a living process, a cognitive, operating for from equilibrium, process of highly complex and chaotic systems of bacteria with constant flow of energy and we are conscience and/or self-aware.  What we do does not just affect ourselves, but it also affects others.  What others do affects us and if what they are doing does not meet our needs, then we need to have enough self-love to let them know in a compassionate way.  This is the balance between others and us.  How do we balance self-love and love for others?  We make sure to never override the needs of others in order to meet our needs and vice versa.  What we need to do is find a solution that meets everyone’s needs.

The best possible example I can give is that of migrating geese.  Visualize the Autumn migration, the sights and sounds associated with this rite of passage.  In Lessons From Geese it states:

Have you ever wondered why migrating geese fly in V formation? As with most animal behavior, it shows us a valuable principle of mutual aid.

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird following. By flying in their V-group formation, the whole flock adds more flying range than if each bird flew alone.

When a goose falls out of foundation, it suddenly feels the resistance and quickly gets back in to take advantage of that lifting power of the bird immediately in front.

When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into formation and another goose flies at the point. The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two others drop out of formation and follow to help and protect. They stay until the ailing member is either able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out, either on their own, with another group, or to catch up with the flock. 

As far as we know geese do this instinctually, but we need to make a conscious choice to be like the geese.  This life of ours is a group effort.  We cannot do it on our own and we cannot do it only for others.  We can however choose to humbly find ways to holistically nurture the true self of both others and ourselves.  There will always be struggles on this journey of life, but with the work of love we can make life wonderful, fulfilling, and meaningful.  We will not always see eye to eye, but we can use the language of compassion to keep our disagreements from getting violent.  As we make our own migration to the end of our lives, let us choose to love others and ourselves.

This is the cycle of love.  Self-love nurtures us by seeking out the help of others, nurturing on our own only when we have to, and other-love nurtures others by self-discovery and humility.  It just keeps going round and round into each other, one nurturing the other.

balancelove

Conclusion

The Beatles sang, “All you need is love.”  But do we really believe it or do we think it is just a nice idea?  Do we say, “Well in the real world no one cares about us, so we have to look out for ourselves.  That’s reality.”?  Is it?  Or is that the reality we have made?  Can we change it?  If we choose to humbly find ways to holistically nurture the true self of both others and ourselves then can reality change?  It will not make life problem free, but it is worth a try?  Now that you know my definition of love, you can use it to love.  Take it or leave it.  But even if you don’t agree, love anyway in your own way.  The point is that you love.  Go all and love!

Resources (in order of appearance)

 

John Lennon. Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy). Double Fantasy. Geffen Records, 1980.

Pink Floyd. The Gunners Dream. The Final Cut. Columbia Records, 1983.

Meeks, Wayne A., ed. “The Good Samaritan.” Luke 10:25-37. The HarperCollins Study Bible. New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

The Choir. About Love. Circle Slide. Sony, 1991.

Alexie, Sherman. The Toughest Indian in the World. New York: Grove Press, 2000.

Peck, M. Scott. Further Along the Road Less Traveled. 2nd ed. New York: Touchstone, 1998.

Di Pego, Gerald. “Instinct.” Colin’s Movie Monologue Page. 14 Oct 2007. 9 Nov 2007

<http://www.whysanity.net/monos/in stinct1.html>.

Buckingham, Marcus, and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.. Now, Discover Your Strengths. 1sted. New York: The Free Press, 2001.

Palmer, Parker J. Let Your Life Speak. 1st ed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000.

Rosenberg, Marshall B.. Nonviolent Communication. 2nd ed. Encinitas: PuddleDancer Press, 2003.

Rosenberg, Marshall B.. Speak Peace. 1st  ed. Encinitas: PuddleDancer Press, 2005.

The Shawshank Redemption. Dir. Frank Darabont. With Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. Castle Rock, 1999.

Moore, Thomas. “The Temple of the Body.”

Thomas Moore careofthesoul.net. 2007. 10 Nov 2007

<http://www.careofthesoul.net/wr_temple.htm&gt;.

Meeks, Wayne A., ed. “Song of Solomon.” The HarperCollins Study Bible. New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

Tillich, Paul. The Courage to Be. 2nd ed. New Haven, Yale University Press, 2000.

Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled. 25 anv ed. New York: Touchstone, 2003.

Audioslave. Be Yourself. Out of Exile. Interscope Records, 2005

Levine, Mel. A Mind at a Time. 1st ed. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2002.

Gardner, Howard. 5 Minds for the Future. 1st ed. Boston: Harvard Business  School Publishing, 2006.

Laney, Marti Olsen. The Introvert Advantage. 1st ed. New York: Workman Publishing Company, Inc., 2002.

Pink Floyd. Dogs. Animals. Capitol Records, 2004.

The Beatles. All You Need Is Love. Magical

Mystery Tour. Capitol Records, 1967.

Unknown, “A Lesson From The Geese.” ScoutXing. 10 Nov

2007 <http://www.scoutxing.com/spirit/spir0009.htm&gt;.